Monthly Archives: February 2006

I'll shout it from the mountaintop

I’d like to say that I’ve found my personal saviour, but a part of me is afraid to totally commit. I’ve always been a coward in that way, but I guess it’s better to err on the side of caution.

It’s just a nice fuzzy feeling right now, with the knowledge that things have changed, that you’ve found what you were looking for, that everything’s going to be alright. It’s kinda like the feeling when you like someone and then you tell her and find out that she likes you too, and you just spend the next few hours basking in each other’s love.

And so now I’m just contemplating how amazing it is that I’ve suddenly accepted the Good News, when I’ve heard the exact same stuff before and never really took it seriously. And I know there are still a lot of doubts (some small, some big) hanging in the back of my head, but at this moment they don’t matter, and I’m sure I’ll be trying to tackle them in time to come, anyway.

(Gosh. They probably dope the food at that ‘Still Hungry’ course I’m attending.)

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Unrest

Is it not right for me to resent you?

There were only the best of intentions, I know, but ultimately you are still Man, you are still fallible, and what if you are wrong, and you’re just screwing others up completely?

You assume too much. And you, and you. And you.

Portable power

So here I am in the com lab, surfing the web with Firefox with its wonderful tabbed browsing, listening to (some of) my mp3s on Winamp, and procrastinating on doing my practical report. What’s new? Well, what’s new, indeed. This is more or less the exact same setup I use back home (in Singapore), sans MSN Messenger, and somehow it all seems just so familiar and comfortable, sitting here and slacking away.

The magic behind it all? My old Creative MuVO TX, Portable Firefox, and Portable Winamp. Essentially I’m using it like a thumbdrive, and loading the programs from it, thus bypassing the constraints against installing programs on school computers.

I probably could save a lot of money by not owning a computer of my own, but I guess I still appreciate the ability to watch movies and the comfort of having one right in my own room…

Sigh. When’re they finally gonna be done with my laptop?

Ireland

(Details posted by Allan, pictures posted by Gillian.)

So I’m a lazyass and am not really posting any holiday details of my own. The thing is, I took the same trip that they did, have the same photos that they do (less actually, since they haven’t got down to sharing their pictures yet), so what can I really add that is new?

Nothing, really. So I skipped lectures for the first time on Monday, and spent quite some a bit of money (more than expected, anyway) in Ireland, but I suppose all in all, it was well worth it. It wasn’t just a getaway, but for me I guess it was a chance to catch up with people I’d lost touch with.

Though we’ve all drifted apart now, it is heartwarming to know that sometimes, just common experience and the comraderie of the past is enough to hold us together, if only for a short, short while.

Cold turkey

My PowerBook is still dead. I’d delayed by about a week before sending it to repair, because I’d tried to contact Apple directly about it (they never sent me a pickup as promised, incidentally). I finally sent it in to a third-party authorised service centre but they apparently didn’t manage to repair it on first attempt so they’re currently waiting for more parts on order.

I’m pretty pissed about the whole thing since I’ve been computerless for about three weeks now. While I appreciate the whole more-time-to-do-other-stuff thing, Monday Week 9 is approaching and I really need to get started on my assessed essay.

(Plus, I’ve lost track of those blogs and comic strips I used to be following. Grr.)

I probably can’t do anything about all this except express great disappointment at Apple’s (non-existent) customer care, maybe send a complaint letter or two (probably to be ignored), and hope Jennings would finish the repairs more speedily.

Apple. Overpriced eye candy.

Queasy

I thought I’d solved it all, that it was all a thing of the past, but I guess I was wrong. You were right, I was wrong, that’s the way it works.

Sometimes it feels like it’s all slipping away.

And it’s all my fault.

Inadequate

How is one supposed to top all that?

What is there really to be done, when you’re simply not needed?

Conflict avoidance

Be nice. Suck it up. Avoid all conflict. That is always the easiest option.

At least, that’s the way it has been for me all this while. It’s always seemed so much easier to let everyone else be happy and accept everything.

But no, the easiest option is often not the best, and no, there are sometimes things I just can’t accept, some standards I feel I cannot compromise on. Sometimes they are big issues, sometimes small, sometimes with friends, sometimes mere acquaintances.

Recently I’ve just been unable to compromise.