[John 20:29] Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
i’ve been thinking a little on my faith recently. what’s left of it, anyway. the problem seems to be that i’m by nature a skeptic, so it’s kinda hard to have faith in a God who doesn’t seem to directly influence anything in the material world.
i mean, seriously. how reasonable is this? you’re all-powerful and all-seeing, you create a race of intelligent people possessing free will, most of these dudes have never made contact with you directly, and you expect people to believe in you? faith is beyond evidence, they say, but well. another term for that would be blind faith, right?
those guys in biblical times have a real advantage over me. i mean, if my teacher just got executed by the authorities for being a religious nutjob and suddenly rose from the dead, sure i’d believe what he says! but when all i have is this stuff about “look at the world around you, surely that is enough evidence that there is a creator?” and things like what other people have felt and experienced (which can be explained by a myriad of other factors) i really start to doubt.
oh there’s a two-thousand year old book we have too, which has been selectively pieced together and re-edited over the years repeatedly by various groups of men. several of which were known to be corrupt and power-hungry back in the ancient days.
and my main gripe about everything? it’s all men. as in people, regardless of gender. they’re the ones saying what’s what? why do they know so much? how come these churchpeople can be wrong about the earth being the centre of the universe but can’t be wrong about religious matters?
ultimately, i think, you believe only if you feel it’s right. like if you hear that there’s a loving god out there who created the world and still influences it in a rather unobvious and unfathomable but definitely good way, and it stirs something in your soul, then you commit to it. but there’s something wrong here isn’t there? some people think taoism is right, some hinduism, some islam, etc. assuming christianity’s “our view is right” is true, what’s wrong with these other guys? are they going to get sent to hell merely because their soul stirred wrongly? or is it that the good guys will all get stirred the correct direction.
utter rubbish, i hear some of you say. i totally agree.
if my faith is really what it’s supposed to be, how can good nice people hear the word of God and not be stirred? what’s happened to the all-powerful word of God? are we spreading it wrongly? in-your-face evangelism isn’t the answer?
why why why why why. okay at this stage i’m really confused. i have so much more to ask, so much more i don’t know. but i’m really not sure where to begin or end.
so i’d just end here with a simple question.
how does one have faith?