peace

it’s 8 days before christmas, and i’m currently filled with the strangest sense of contentment. it’s something i haven’t felt for a very long time.

today i went on a trip down nostalgia lane… i’ve been reading the old cards/letters from way back. many brought back good memories… some bittersweet, i guess. but overall, good.

(took the time to sort out some of the stuff, too. like dumping the whole lot of SP letters, aka the angel-mortal game, which i now find totally meaningless)

(i’ve just noticed that my thoughts are becoming more and more disordered. i’m degenerating into ‘honest expression’ now, i suspect. haha. oh well)

in lower sec i had this english teacher, ms florence lee. for her class, we kept an ‘english journal’ where we’d basically blog (on paper. ok this is dumb. a blog’s an electronic journal, not the other way round!) weekly or something. for her to read. anyway, there was once when i’d expressed some doubts on my faith, and then when i got back the journal she’d written an ominous ‘pls see me’ on it. my course of action was, of course, what any other young lad would have done – ignore.

so a few days later, i got a chinese new year card from her. i was puzzled (as were my classmates), but once i got down to reading the enclosed letter, it became clearer. being a christian herself, she’d taken the trouble to craft a rather lengthy reply to my journal entry (amusingly, it began something like ‘since u didn’t have the guts to come and see me…’).

that’s one of the (admittedly few) pages of my ‘good teacher inspiration’ book.



all the old friendships also came back to mind. mainly starting back in secondary school – i suspect when that’s when the mind actually forms =P some have remained the greatest of pals even till today, some of the friends i’ve gradually lost contact with. but, well, we were all close once. traded tales and smiles, and what not.

it’s something.

and at long last, i’ve come to terms with the temporal nature of friendship. all things, not just friendship, must come to an end. it’s the natural order of things. some last longer than others, but when it must end, well… it’d end. sometimes, trying too hard is merely delaying the inevitable.

people change, and sometimes the glue holding two people together just won’t stick anymore.

but as long as you’ve been doing your part, i think there’s nothing you should really worry about. maybe it’d stick, maybe it won’t. sometimes it’s nobody’s fault.

knowing something is one thing, but accepting it is really another thing altogether.

contentment.

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Posted on December 17, 2004, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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