disappointment

i detest the way i’ve turned out.

i’m a selfish, boring, insignificant nobody just drifting along carrying on what barely passes for as a life. i used to be different (boring still, yes, but a nice type of boring), but goodness knows what’s happened. or have i always been this way? are these rose-tinted glasses upon my nose?

the feeling of distance from everyone has dragged on till today. i guess that’s a big reason why i’m typing this now. cos i feel sucky. it’s like… i don’t know. words escape my mind. what’s left of my mind, anyway. i’m really stupid now. don’t let moe know, but they’re gonna be paying for a product that’s far inferior to what they’d expected. shush.

i’ve seriously no idea what i’m doing with my life. or maybe i’ve got an idea – totally nothing. nada. zilch. there’s a serious lack of short-term goals here. it’s all very well and nice to come up with possible things to pursue, but i’d end up asking myself for what? i mean. in the end, what difference does it make? in the end, what difference does anything make?

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Posted on August 1, 2004, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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