Monthly Archives: September 2002


my average kazaa download speed has suddenly decided to turn decent (old average speeds were something to the extent of 0.36kbps). whoohoo! i’ve no idea why it’s decided to improve, but i don’t really mind and i don’t really care =)



went like sdd-clothes-browsing today. jeez, how do girls find the stamina?

went with meiling and one of her friends (lihui, was it? think she’s one of your ex-classmates, weiyi. if you ever read this). wow. basically they dragged me around to their preferred shops and delighted at dressing me up. i bet this is just their grown-up version of playing with dolls and changing their clothes… haha… then there was a time we were at some place where the thing was totally out of my budget but they kinda insisted i try it anyway blah!

i think i’d be going for something which looks quite casual lor. very, in fact. may be too casual, but heck lah. think it’s pretty comfy. and no way i’d be one of those necktie-wearing clones walking around on that night…

of ghosts and men

i have this kooky theory that ghosts (the human-looking ones, anyway) are people from parallel universes (to be more exact, some sort of overlapping universes) who are touching this world partially at that particular moment in time. and that depending on the extent of this overlap, they may or may not be able to physically interact with things from our world.

normally, i don’t really bother with this, but when crossing empty roads deep at night, i have the irrational fear of getting knocked down by ghostly 18-wheelers which suddenly appear out of nowhere.

the power of the dream

wow. dreams can seriously mess with your memory. like the last time, i fell asleep awaiting a phone call, and dreamt that the person called in the end, and when i woke up, i wasn’t sure if i had talked to the person or not.

yesterday, i woke up with the absolute knowledge that i have been conversing a lot with jolene from s41. then i thought about it for awhile, ‘cos there seemed to be something wrong with that. then i had it figured out, generally i don’t really talk to her very much, so that didn’t make sense.

the problem was solved when i suddenly remembered that it was to some guy in s41 i had been in contact with, and it was largely through letters. more details popped up, and i remembered that he was from jolene’s senior class, 00s41. i didn’t remember how i started exchanging letters with him (like in the angel-mortal game), but well at least everything made sense. small other details – him being amused when i got into council, me taking a picture with him during sdd, me smsing him to ask about his results…

it was still kinda bugging me though, and the more i thought about it, the more something seemed fishy about the whole thing. then i kinda realised that it was extremely weird for me to have such a (seemingly) close penpal when i can’t even remember the guy’s name. so i thought about it for a little while more, and figured that i’d just check through my stack of letters and notes and stuff to see what i can find, then forgot about the whole matter for awhile.

later in the day, when i remembered the incident, i’d realised that it was all rubbish i had somehow generated. from a dream. apparently involving jolene somehow, probably i was talking to her a lot in that dream or something. weird.

i remember reading something about this before… basically when you have two conflicting senses (or in this case, memories?), your mind will somehow try to compromise, since it doesn’t like handling conflicting stuff. so it’d kinda interpolate everything until it stops conflicting. in this case, fill in the void with generated memories. not really generated from scratch, either – those memories were stuff i’d done with other seniors. hmm.

i think it’s kinda freaky, actually. how easily false memories are generated. makes me kinda wonder how much of what i recall is real.

impressed by children's shows.

hmm. saw some of hi-5 while my sister was watching it. think it’s her favourite show. must say, seems rather nice. a vast, vast improvement from teletubbies anyway (yeah she used to watch that). it’s really pretty cool! hi-5. wow.


hmm. i think i’ve been playing too much mafia and grand theft auto 3.

just now, when i saw a police cruiser parked by the road, i was imagining myself picking the lock, jumping into the car and speeding off at insane speeds.

*reality check*!!!


everything’s just so fleeting, so temporal.

even friendship.

entry with much repetition of words, terms are used multiple times in this post.

sometimes, when crossing a road with heavy traffic, i sometimes think of crossing the road.

in the heavy traffic.


i’m hopelessly addicted to the crab-mayo croissant at delifrance.



sigh. i very much want to get this scholarship. would be better if i had an s-paper… blah why did i drop oh yeah cos i found it boring. dumb reason =(