Monthly Archives: December 2001

standing in the rain…

funny, so very long after coming up with those 2 lines to use as my email signature, i only just realise how very much a part of my life the philosophy of crying in the rain is.

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fwah

now if only, knowing that i would totally regret it if i flunk again, i could get down to serious studying.

ponderings.

among the many things i was thinking about yesterday was what would happen in the case that i didn’t pass the physics repaper.

i know it’s possible, after all, i failed the physics promotional paper.

firstly, that’d be the end of the provisional chemistry ‘s’ i was offered. not that i particularly mind anymore. i think i’ve lost all drive for studying and learning this year.

secondly, i’d be forced to drop physics. while it is a move i’ve already been considering awhile back, being forced to drop it is just… different. maybe it’s just daunting to my ego. maybe it’d make me wish i had studied more. and did my homework. theoretically i shouldn’t care that much, physics has always been the least favourite of my sciences anyway.

i know, however, that should i be forced to drop physics, i would feel utterly lost. i don’t know for how long, or whether or not my heck-care defence would kick back in like it always has after most of my setbacks in life.

i do know, however, that i would do my a-levels best if i just quit school now and took them as a private candidate. but other factors aside from academic ones hold me back. after all, i didn’t come to vj to study.

not that i’ve been particularly successful in everything else i’d hoped to achieve.

it’s kind of sad knowing that you are unable to succeed in the fields you’re interested in, and where you know you can succeed, you simply lack the drive to try.

pigeon holes

haha… went to school today and discovered some christmas cards in my ‘cube’… kinda like the pigeon holes our teachers had in ri. except it’s mine! in the council room. first time i’m getting so many being passed to me instead of being mailed… to be fair it’s definitely more practical, but there’s just some feeling about opening your mailbox and taking it out (or coming home and finding out you’ve got mail) that is lost in the process.

gosh, i sound like i’m trying to help singpost advertise for their stamps… heh. oh well, do whatever you’re happy with lah, if you’re not the type to send carbon-based stamped cards. i think in the end what you write is the most important.

retainers

irritating. haven’t been wearing my retainers for too long… it’s now quite uncomfortable to wear (meaning my teeth have gone a bit out of alignment). well good thing is i finally took things into my own hands and went to cut out some of the metal wire which was previously sticking into my flesh, but whether or not the unprofessional clipping will release poisonous metals into my bloodstream or something remains to be seen…

what's in a name?

i was eating somewhere in kallang earlier, when i looked out the window at the opposite establishment and took note of its name.

‘no signboard seafood’.

i almost burst out laughing.

to be loved… is like a harbour in a storm…

to be anchored so securely at the heart, you can’t be torn…

just remembered this christian song i’d heard a long long time back. only just bothered to search for it, previously didn’t know the singer.

gosh, i love it. too bad it’s a different version from what i’d heard.

irritating

i love her… i love her not.
i love her, i love her not.
i love her.
not?

crap, i’ve got to get some studying done!

my brother came home yesterday.

i think there’s something special about family love.

it is not neccessarily stronger or weaker than bonds of friendship. it’s just… a different type of love. it’s a type of love which you can feel even if you’re not really friends with a person. it’s a type of love you can feel even if you haven’t really spoken to a person much for awhile.

it’s a type of love which can make you feel all nice and good inside even when you’re feeling extremely sleepy, watching wordlessly as your brother drives the family car back from the airport along the empty roads at 3:30am in the morning.

is 5/29 a proper fraction?

you know it just occurred to me that having sent out 29 christmas cards and having only received 5 in return could be considered insulting (ooops. 2 are from people i didn’t send to).

C’MON PEOPLE! send those cards already! what’re y’all waiting for!?!

but honestly i don’t really care that much… guess i’m already used to it. which might be viewed as… pretty pathetic… but i prefer to think that i’m an oh-so-giving guy =)